by ROGER MARSH

It’s official. In 2022 I’m making myself available to script consult with Leonardo DiCaprio and Meryl Streep – exclusively. This decision came after watching them as two stars (of many) in the just-released-on-Netflix film “Don’t Look Up.”

What a mess.

Understood the message about climate change, the Streep character was Trump and the world cares more about soap opera garbage than staying alive. The problem was clearly the script.

These incredible film actors somehow suffered through it despite comic genius moments like Streep’s character told how she will die some day. The baffling and gory-sounding ending was resolved in the film’s last two lines. Score. But that’s as good as it gets.

The film feels like someone simply applied a slapstick-like coating on the dialogue with no depth, rhythm or reason. Adults were cast into toddler roles. The 1970s called and wanted their plot back. You get it.

The problem was right there all along in plain sight in the script. One only had to read the script to see where the dumpster fires were. And they still made the movie.

With all of that going on, I still recommend watching the film. I’d watch Streep in a pocket-dial video in the fog if it was released. She’s President and the always-manipulating achiever where make-up and ratings are more important than planet-ending scenarios. Streep will not let you down. DiCaprio is strangely his normal brilliant self at the same time his dialogue and direction are flat and spineless.

So, Streep and DiCaprio – lunch again at The Flamingo in Santa Rosa? Remember the room fire in 2016? I still suspect it was Downey Jr. who started that. He sent me a box of cigars. And I still have the Pope’s clock we snatched from his office on that 2012 project in Rome. Good times. Let me read your scripts before you do. Same rates from the 90s projects. I’m not greedy. This won’t happen again.